Will We Ever Say the Words We're Feeling?
by evil-wiatch
Summary: Set during New York episode. Rachel confronts Puck about who wrote the song fort he Duet and finds she might not have to choose between love and her dreams after all. One Shot.


AN : I do not own Glee or anything in this story besides the brain used to type it. This has been bumping around in my head since I watched the episode but I haven't had chance to sit down and write it. Just a short fluffy piece. Hope someone likes it.

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><p>"The song is fantastic." She said as she slid next to him back stage. He looked down at her and smiled.<p>

"Yeah, Finn did a really good job." He nodded slightly and then went back to watching the rest of the group get ready.

She watched him for a moment, there was something about Noah Puckerman that had always fascinated her. Even when he was her main tormentor. She couldn't deny that he was attractive and she was so proud of much he'd grown in the past two years.

"Hmm. Except it's not his song is it?" She saw his mask slip for a second, worry crossed his face, but then it righted itself and he was back to the blank look.

"I don't know what you're talking about" he challenged, without making eye contact with her.

"You wrote the song. I'm not stupid. Finn is...a great leading man but he doesn't have all that much creative flow lets say." He looked down at her now, she could tell he knew he was busted. "Why did you do it?"

"He wanted to impress you, and I'd already finished with it so I just let him take the credit."

She laughed lightly, typical Noah, she looked up at him again and answered "That's not the real reason."

She saw irritation flash through his eyes, he hated that she knew him so well. But you don't know someone for practically your whole life without being able to pick up on a few things, like you avoid eye contact when you're lying, and you shuffle your feet more. Oh and the top of your ears go red. Noah never was very good at lying.

"I urm, I didn't think anyone would like it if I said it was mine, ok? Happy now?" He blurted out.

"You're being ridiculous Noah. Of course we'd have liked it. The song is emotional and deep and you're a valued member of this club. We wouldn't be here without you. We wouldn't have got through sectionals if it weren't for you, although Lauren wasn't exactly my favourite person to join the group."

He laughed, "You still not feeling Zizies huh?" She'd voiced her opinion to him at the time about her dislike of Lauren's attitude towards Glee club, but now she seemed to be more involved she had come to quite enjoy the girls company.

"I wouldn't say that. She just didn't seem like a fit at first. She's shocked us all by her change of heart towards Glee club since she joined."

He shook his head as a grin appeared, "Sure Berry. You're her number one fan. You don't have to lie to me."

She huffed slightly, squaring her shoulders, "Well she's not nice to you Noah."

He looked confused and then slightly annoyed. "_Well_ she's the only person who likes me so I can deal."

She looked up at him, how could he be so blind for a self proclaimed "lady pleaser". "She's not the only person." His head shot around and he looked at her questioningly. She shook her head and started to back away from him, "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

He went to move towards her but she raised her hands to stop him, "Don't. I'll just see you later ok? Ok. I really do like the song." And with that she walked away, not looking back to see his reaction.

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><p>He'd kissed her. She couldn't believe he'd kissed her. In front of everyone. But most of all, in front of him. She couldn't believe this. And now he was telling Jesse how amazing it was and all she wanted to do was tell him she didn't feel anything. And find the boy she wanted and explain she didn't want Finn. But she couldn't see him anywhere, he'd avoided her gaze during their second number and since then he'd simple vanished. And now he was telling her how he wanted them to get back together and how it was a mistake to get with Quinn and she felt like screaming.<p>

"Finn! Stop!" He looked hurt but stopped all the same, "I didn't come here to get back together with you. That kiss was inappropriate, and it might have meant something to you but...I didn't feel the way I thought I would. I don't think we should be together."

"But, but Rachel...I..." She shook her head and held up her hands.

"Just stop. Please. This is already hard enough. I just, I don't think we're good for each other. And I'm sorry if you broke up with Quinn for me but it was wrong of you to assume that I'd just wait for you."

He looked angry now, "Is there someone else? Are you seeing someone else?" The way he was towering over her intimidated her slightly but she was Rachel Berry, never one to back down.

"No I'm not. I just know I don't want to be with you. It's not you, for so long I thought you were all I wanted. But I've come to realise that my dreams are the most important thing and I need to be with someone who realises that as well. Who supports me and would never stand in the way of them."

"But I never..." He started but she cut him off, "No you didn't. But you didn't support me either. Not really. I just don't think we're it. The major love of your life isn't me. I'm sorry."

She reached out and squeezed his hand before turning away, she began to walk towards Kurt and Mercedes and when she looked back she saw Quinn move in to talk to Finn. Maybe they could give it another shot, she hoped he'd at least find someone who made him happy.

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><p>When they got back to the hotel there was still no sign of Noah, she was searching the halls after she'd been to the lobby and the bar. He must be somewhere. Just then she saw Mike Chang turn the opposite corner and headed straight for him.<p>

"Mike!" she shouted, but he didn't hear her. So she started running and shouting "Mike! MIKE!"

That got his attention as he pulled his ear phones out and smiled, "Hi Rach. What's up?"

"Have you seen Noah?" She asked, the concern must have been showing on her face as Mike moved to pull her under his arm in a side hug before opening the door to their room.

"He's right in here." He answered as he swung the door open to reveal Noah shoving clothes back in to his bag. He looked up and stopped what he was doing when he saw she was there. Mike obviously sensed the tension as he nudged her in to the room before closing the door after a mumbled "I'll come back".

She stood there for a few minutes as he went back to packing. Silence filled the room, the only sounds heard were the traffic coming from outside and their breathing. She moved further in to the room and sat down on the couch.

"You're avoiding me." She stated. He stopped was he was doing for a second and let out a loud breathe before starting towards the bathroom. "No I'm not."

He left the door open so she figured he must not want to stop talking, it was a start. "Well I haven't seen you since we performed so I just thought..."

"Well you thought wrong." He interrupted as he marched back in to the room, toiletries in hand. He shoved them in to his bag roughly and then zipped it up. She could see the tension in his shoulders and his laboured breathing showed her he was mad.

"Are you mad at me?" She ventured to ask, knowing the answer already.

"No, no I'm not." His answer surprised her, "I'm mad at me. I was – I was an idiot for thinking you were finally through with him. But I was wrong. So more fool me."

She got up from her position and pulled on his arm to make him look at her, "Why would you care about that? You're with Lauren and you seem happy. So why would me and Finn bother you?"

He stared at her for a second, his eyes were intense and she would have looked away if it wasn't for the invisible pull that seemed to connect them. "Well say something." She said finally.

"The song, it was about you." He stated. She moved back slightly, mouth open and eyes wide. She wanted to say something but she couldn't find her voice.

He sighed, "Look what you said before I thought," he paused and let out a low laugh, "I thought you were telling me something but then you kissed him and I guess I was imagining it so- "

"We're not together!" She blurted out, he looked confused. "He kissed me, but it wasn't, it didn't feel right. Not like it should have. I decided I need to focus on my dreams and find someone who supports them and helps me get where I want to go. And that's not Finn."

"Oh." He said, sitting down on the bed and resting his elbows on his thighs. "So..?" He questioned.

"So you're with Lauren. And I'm focusing on me for a while." She answered, smiling and moving towards him. She ran her fingers down his cheek slowly and then rested her hand on his shoulder when he looked up and met her gaze. "But we're ok right?"

He nodded his head, and she smiled and nodded hers. "Then I'll see you later." And with that she left the room and headed to her own, knowing her heart was breaking slightly. But he'd made his choice and she was happy for him. She didn't want any more drama or love triangles and she wasn't going to ruin someone else's relationship just because she wanted what they had. It was the way it had to be.

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><p>Things were pretty much the same at school. It was the end of the year so no body seemed to care that the Glee Club had almost got through to the next round at Nationals. Despite the nice banner that now hung in the hallway, people were no more nicer to those in Glee Club than they had been before. But the saving grace was it was the last day of school before summer, and then senior year. Rachel was emptying her locker when she felt her phone go off in her cardigan pocket. She pulled it out and saw 1 new message from Noah. She opened it and wondered aloud, "The library? I didn't think he knew where the library was."<p>

She closed her locker and headed towards the designated meeting place, stopping by the choir room to leave her bag in Mr Schuester's office so she wouldn't forget it.

When she finally got the library she looked around but couldn't see him. He had to be here somewhere. As she made her way further in to the stacks she caught sight of his mohawk moving away from her and followed it. He lead her around a corner to the older shelves where few students went and came to abrupt halt. So abrupt that she ran in to his back and stumbled. He reached out and caught her, then back her up so her back was pressed against the shelves. He leaned towards her and bent his head down towards her. She wanted to give in, to kiss him, to feel the way she knew she'd want to in a long time, but she couldn't. Not if he was with Lauren.

"Noah, wait." She pleaded. And when he moved back she gripped his arms to show him she wasn't against this situation, she just needed a brief pause. "We shouldn't be doing this. You're with Lauren."

"I broke up with Lauren. We were better off as friends anyway. She understood. Told me to go for it actually. That's why I text you."

"Oh." She smiled slightly, "So this is you...going for it? With me?" He chuckled and nodded, moving back in towards her. "So you..."

"Yeah. And you..."

"Yeah." She met his eyes and saw for the first time in a long time, a genuine smile cross his face. Not a smirk or a grin. A smile. And she melted, she always melted when he smiled like that.

"You know this means you're my girl right? No more kissing Finn at the end of performances."

She laughed out right and then covered her mouth, remembering where they were. He laughed with her. "You want to be with me?" She asked. This didn't seem real. She'd imagined this moment so many times that it must be another fantasy. But then she felt his fingers brush against her arms and move up towards her cheek.

"Yes baby. I want to be with you. And I want to support your crazy ideas and your dreams and everything. I want you to be able to rely on me, and use my strength when you haven't got enough of your own. I just..."

But he never got to finish his speech as she pulled his head down and kissed him fiercely on the lips. He pushed her back in to shelves and returned the kiss with equal intensity and passion.

As they pulled apart she found his hand and entwined it with her own, smiling up at him.

"Come on," she said as she started to walk towards the aisle, "We've got Glee. It's the last meeting on the year."

He moved in time with her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders but keeping her hand in his. It felt right to be tucked there under his arm, she'd wanted this for so long that the reality was so much better than she could have ever imagined.

She wrapped her free arm around his middle and pulled him closer to her, resting her head on his shoulder and she reached up and pecked his lips once more. He smiled at her and kissed the top of her head as they walked. They might not last, but she knew for now she was with the right boy. The one who would push her enough to achieve her goals and his along the way.


End file.
